Here's to damnation darling

this is a big city only my dreams are bigger
close my eyes and i imagine the skyline back home
miss my hand in your hand in your coat pocket
i was tiny so my footsteps were short and fast
looked like i was running beside you
and never got tired of it
but i'm tired now
and i don't drink bitter coffee anymore
tried to like it once, twice
with her, with him
the absence of sugar in her house
wrong mug, only for a sip
never again i said
i stopped and i'm only tired
i only wait
for the eminent, for the inevitable
for the destined and the doomed
and feeling safe is a privilege
so i'll cherish it while it lasts
but i don't believe, not anymore
have i lost hope or has hope lost me
it's to be decided after i have this one last win
i'm not doing this again
please let me politely refuse
let me be nice one last time
because i swear, i'm not doing this again
you can't play a chord to save your life
but it's mine that needs saving
and the smoke that escapes me
will fade away just the same
so i'll be fine
i promise, i'll be fine
just the same