Play the game

There's a game I don't talk about,
mostly forgotten now.
The first heartbreak
- spanned over months;
those few bruises didn't hurt as much,
at the time.
But I played a game of chess once,
which was nice.
He had his life together
even after we weren't.
I couldn't love him,
there was something missing..
Maybe an honest laugh,
or a smile?
Definitely a smile.
Moved on to a game of lies,
and I would've given my life
to have that single honest sober moment
ripped out of my mind.
Now, don't ask me if it's still him
I regret the most.
Give me a bit more time
even when I say I'm ready to say goodbye.
Now it's a game, a bit undefined,
it's laced with pushing and supporting;
with sacred words said so easily
you'd thing they could move
the imaginary border lines.
But don't me wrong,
it's a game I've already played
once too many times before.
There's always too much on the line
and still, the same rules apply.